WANTS

I always feel like I don't blog enough.

I have plenty to say, but writing it all down seems to take away some of the emotion attached to those words. I can write long, drawn-out, run-on paragraphs about what is going on, who I'm hanging out with, what I have been doing, but I want to keep all those memories for me.

I don't want to share. I want to be selfish.

I want to travel. I have more than enough money from my Southwest cancellation to go anywhere I want. I don't know where I want to go. I want to go alone and at the same time I want someone to go with. I want to go back to the places I love and see new things in each one. I want to see places I've never been and explore with someone I care about who would be brave enough to explore the side streets. I want to fall in love with a new city and add it to my list of favorite places.

I kinda wanna go on a road trip. I just want to be anywhere but here. My little bug, with its new tires, is up for the adventure. I want to hop on the highway and drive drive drive. I want to stop at all the roadside tourist traps and take pictures with the big pink flamingos in South of the Border. I want to buy boiled peanuts from a roadside stand. I want to stay at a five star hotel and have breakfast in bed. I want to drive until the road ends and find someplace no one knows about. It can be my secret.

I want this studying for the GRE to be easier. I want someone to take the test for me, score a 1400, and get me into any grad school I want. I want to not be afraid of applying. I want to be confident that I will get in to any school I choose. I want to be Dr. Staci already.

I want to wake up next to someone who means the world to me every morning. I want to bake cookies and cupcakes and write silly things like "I <3 YOU" on them with icing. I want to have someone to cook for and have dinner with and make out with during commercials. I want to stay up all night watching someone sleep, studying their face. I want to make love at sunrise and have chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. I want weekend adventures to be what I look forward to.

I want to know the future. I want to win the lotto. I want to live by myself again. I want to cuddle when it rains. I want to drive aimlessly listening to techno (or coast to coast if its late enough). I want to wake up on the west coast. I want to live in New York and work in Bellvue's psychiatric ward. I want to fall in love with someone who loves everything about me unconditionally.

I want I want I want.