i'm not gonna lie, i absolutely love late night visits for hugs, kisses, and hot chocolate. i love these visits even more when they're with a boy with beautiful eyes and hands that can cover my whole back and is tall enough to rest his chin on my head when we hug.

i don't know how to go about telling him that i want more. i want hugs and kisses and late night snuggles. i want someone to go to random movies that no one else is interested in and listen to obscure music and walk around museums and art galleries with. i want someone who isn't afraid of my intelligence and is willing to teach me things i don't know; like how to play guitar. i'm past the point of where i want to just hook up for the sake of sex, i'm too old for that. i want someone to call mine. someone who's not afraid to take me out with his friends and enjoys going out with mine. someone not necessarily to call my boyfriend right away, but someone who's on the way to being that person. someone to take home to melbourne and just lay on the beach with. someone different from what i've dated in the past.

i can write all that down, but i don't have the balls to say that. i don't know how to go about having that conversation when the majority of our conversations are based on the sexual aspect of our relationship. sigh. why does this shit have to be so complex?